Goodbringer's Overpowered Adventures
by CaptainRDM
Summary: A collection of the Self-Insert's adventures through the multiverse. Probably OOC. I'm going to have to rewrite it someday, but whatever. Disclaimer: I don't own anything except what I made myself. Pretty sure T is okay for this.
1. RWBY 1

New day means more powers, a new world means a place to use those powers, and nothing is better than a new pair of pants. I can't decide what power to upgrade or make. Neutron Star Shooter is powerful enough at the moment, TNEO still works fine, and everything else doesn't matter. How am I supposed to hold all these charges? Judging by the moon, I'm either in RWBY or some other sort of apocalypse world. Goody goody, this means I can finally use my plan that involves dust. I hate Cinder on a primal level, so I guess I am a good guy. I teleport to the nearest location with a ton of people. Judging by the large clock-tower in the distance, it is Beacon. Time to find a dust shop.

Dust shop found and an old guy runs it. I walked in and scanned every type of dust in there. Now I can work on the next part of the plan, making it via Builder. I changed the dust I made to be kind of like Tiberium, but only converted organic material into itself, plus I could control it's growth myself. Now, I can make a sort of seed that will start growing the dust by converting the organic material around it into dust. Now I just have to make a clip of the stuff to load into a pistol. The bullets and clip itself are clear, but the butt of the clip is the color of the dust it has inside. I decided to go with a Glock 9mm, but made via Tinker so it is made of god-knows-what, never jams, and I don't have to clean it.

I tested it on a tree in a random park. The tree became dust a couple seconds after it got seeded. Perfect. Would you fight an enemy who could turn you into dust? I wouldn't. Well, I wouldn't if I was made of organic materials. Time to acquire waifu.

I went back to the dust shop by using those things I call legs and found the ravenette reaper imouto wearing her headphones and reading something. Now I just have to wait. After waiting god knows how long, Rowan and his mooks finally showed up. When they actually decided to rob the place, I got into position and pretended to be looking at the dust. One of his faunus boytoys went up to me and asked, "Give me all your money." He seemed to be trying to intimidate me, so I seeded him with some Tiber-dust, which converted him into crystal which broke into powder. The others witnessed this and the Candlestick yelled, "Get him!" So I did the same thing to all of them, covering the floor in a large amount of powder.

Ruby decided to stop reading, put the book away, tried to walk somewhere, but tripped on the dust and fell on her face. She got back up and sneezed. Adorable. Goodwitch decides to finally show up and asks what's going on. I decide to go with a funny response, "Can you believe it's not dust?" Ruby groaned while Goodwitch narrowed her eyes at me. It seems that making people into dust is still considered 'murder' and I have to go with the police that showed up during my joke. Ruby went in willingly, in cuffs. I declined the cuffs and told the officers that I would dust them too if they tried to use force. They didn't try anything after that. They brought me and Ruby into a holding cell, so hopefully Ozpin will show up soon. Jailbreaks are pretty illegal.

Ruby tried to talk to me, but it's two socially inept people trying to have a conversation. When words finally came out of her mouth, they were, "Sooo I-I'm Ruby Rose, what's your name?" I decided to go with the good old 'P. M. Goodbringer'. She didn't comment on it which I consider to be a good thing. We didn't talk after that. Guess she was fine with me killing those people. Maybe it was because they were criminals? Probably. The cops finally dragged me to a room with the wizard of Oz in it. We stared into each other's eyes for a bit. It was easier than doing it with Zion. He adopted that tiny, smugish smile on his mug and finally decided to speak, "So Mister-" "Goodbringer" "Goodbringer, I have found out something interesting. You do not exist. You only showed up a couple hours ago. Why is that?"

I don't have to answer this guy. If it actually came down to a fight, he would have no chance. Might as well have two chances at this. Things always get complicated when Splitting Time's Flow comes into play.

* * *

 **A** (Which timeline it is, which doesn't matter right now since only one matters.)

A surprised look flashed itself onto Ozpin's face before he smashed it down. I decided to go with a partial truth, "Well, you see, I am actually an alien from another planet who has decided to come to this one to fight the Good Fight. This isn't my true from since my actual one would cause most people to go insane and the rest to either commit suicide or confess their undying love for me."

The smile came back after he took a sip of his coffee, "Well that wouldn't be good, so I thank you for your kindness. Have you ever thought of becoming a hunter, or huntress, and fighting the Grimm?" He already decided to throw the pitch at me? That's fine. I decided to throw the other timeline out before I did anything in it. Guess I'll have to go old gangster later.

"What's in it for me?" Might as well go with my alignment of CN. Dusting people is pretty chaotic and it got me to Ozpin which is for my own gain. He took another sip of coffee before deciding to answer, "Well, you get to help people for one and you can also get paid for doing it, but looking at what you turned those criminals into, I do not believe you are in need of that. I think fighting Grimm goes well in hand with fighting the 'Good Fight', but there also loads of attractive men and women." Then he had the gall to wink at me.

"Sorry Ozzy," This caused another act of quick surprise. "But I'm not into the probing thing, but I have always wanted to be in a high school romantic comedy with action, drama, and even character deaths. I already have one name under my belt. So I guess I will go." He thanked me for accepting, then gave me some forms to fill out. The name is simple, age is a bit more difficult. Guess I will put 16, right between the normal age and Ruby's. Where did I graduate from? I'll just put 'your mum.' Semblance? Just leave it blank, putting anything would be a lie. I filled out the rest and handed them back. He stared me in the eyes and raised an eyebrow. I gave myself two more eyebrows and raised all four. He rescinded his challenge after that. "But I do have one requirement, you also allow Red Riding Hood to join. She would have been able to handle the mooks back there and even Candleholder." He raised an eyebrow at my choice of nicknames but nodded all the same. Maybe I'll duel Yang and have a punch off, not like anyone can beat me anyway. "But I do have one question. What about my non-existent Aura? I could give myself one, but it wouldn't be a perfect replica since I do not have a soul." He simply shrugged then took another sip. Guess he was done talking.


	2. RWBY 2

Finally, it's happening. I teleported to the inside of the bullhead every main character used. Ruby saw it me and waved, then started to drag her sister towards me. Guess I have to start it with a Yang, "Cabbage you glad I didn't say orange?" While pointing finger guns at the two of them. Everyone who could hear me groaned except for the blonde with a lot of hair who's grin got bigger.

"Aw, Ruby, you didn't say he made jokes! Were you skimping out on me?" Then she turned towards me after complaining and put out her hand. We shook hands. She was trying to gauge my strength and reaction so I used the same amount of strength as her and kept my small smile up. Then Yang stopped smiling and tried to lay down the hurt. It seems she has considered this a competition and is trying to win. I did the exact same thing as before.

After a couple minutes, she finally gave up. Her hand was a bit bruised and twitching a small amount. She finally decided to speak and put a smile up when she rubbed her hand, "Well, that's a pretty strong grip you got there, you any good with your hands?" It seems she is making an innuendo that may or may not be figurative, so I went with an innocent, safe bet.

"Well, I am pretty good at punching things, but I'm more focused on range." It seemed to confuse her since not many weapons use a lot of strength unless it weighs a lot or has a lot of recoil. Ruby finally entered the conversation since it focused on weapons now, "If you're focused on range, what do you use? A minigun? I use a high-caliber sniper-scythe and her name is Crescent Rose!" She almost took her weapon out before she realized people were around.

Time to bring out one of my favorite powers, "No, I use this." I pointed my pointer finger up and used Neutron Star Shooter to summon up a piece of Neutron Star the size of a marble. "This a piece of a neutron star, the second densest thing in the universe, which I can shoot at almost any speed."

Ruby didn't seem that impressed, but now talk was about speed, so she continued as Yang slinked off somewhere, "I can go pretty fast too! Which do you think is faster, me or that black marble?" So I answered truthfully, since Ruby can't teleport, which caused her to be surprised, "Can it really go that fast? That has to be the fastest thing ever, but how can it go as fast as light?"

"It's simple Ruby, I choose which fundamental forces act on it, so I get to choose if the universe allows it to go as fast as or faster than light. I do this since a neutron star has a ton of electromagnetic energy and a strong gravitational pull, and a bunch of other stuff, which can cause a ton of collateral damage."

"When you say it like that, it is pretty cool. How fast can it go?"

"Last time I checked, it could go about one light millennium per second, which is about 5,879,000,000,000,000 miles per second. It might be able to go faster though, I just don't have a reason for it."

This announcement caused the reaper pause, almost like 'If he could do this, what else could he do?' Or maybe she was thinking about something to eat. She finally spoke up, "Wow! That's really fast! Can you do any other cool things?" Guess she decided to ask the question anyway. Which is more exciting, Time's Never-Ending Onslaught or Splitting Time's Flow? STF sounds cool, but you can't really see anything about it, while TNEO just turns things to dust. Shapeshifting is pretty cool. This is Ruby, so she would think being a Tinker would be REALLY COOL especially with Builder. Probably not if I just built the thing with Builder, she seems like she likes the process of making something as well as the product. I know what I'm doing then.


	3. RWBY 3

"There is no way you can take that on." The black haired not-yet-revealed-catgirl challenged me. It seems that she is underestimating me, which isn't good. I stared at her while the white-haired Schnee heiress was stuck on a giant nevermore. I pointed towards it with a finger gun and used Neutron Star Shooter to fire a neutron star marble at 1,000 miles per hour at the bird.

When the marble hit, it gibbed the large, black bird. I used Instant Long-Distance Movement to teleport below where the ice queen would fall. Now, I wait. Once the heiress knew she was falling, she started screaming. And she kept doing it. This was going to take a bit.

Once she screamed out all of the panic, she accepted her fate. When she saw me below her, surprise, hope, panic, and fear covered her features. She doesn't think I got this, but I got this. I opened my arms to her and she closed her eyes. When she got to arms reach, I grabbed her with my insane speed and when the contact happened, I canceled all of her unneeded energy which caused her to float for an incredibly short amount of time before I put in a bit of gravitational, which caused her to land in my arms. Plan successful: trash waifu acquired.

When she realized she was within my grasp and not dead, she started to squeeze something since the panic and threat of death finally reached her. Luckily, it was me, so no pain or embarrassment was involved, unless Weiss made the second one involved.

After the entirely one-sided hug, she let go, immediately turned around, huffed, and walked away. She's lucky I'm not more of a douche than I already am, or else I would have engaged in conflict until she apologized and said 'thank you'. Totally not that much of a douche.

After dealing with the tsundere, vanilla ice-cream, I went to go find my partner. Instead of Ruby ending up with Weiss, she ended up with me. Weiss ended up on a team of no-name mooks instead. See you later, character development, we hardly knew ye. Time to acquire chess pieces. I guess I could have asked Ozpin to join team RWBY. Could have been RGBWY or something. Now, we're RGBY or Rugby. Rugby is totally a color.

Me and Scarlet Rubster met up and headed for Chess Piece Ruins. Once there, I got both white pawns. Pawns are pretty cool when they don't die. Except for Issei. And ChargeQM's quest's protagonist (Even though the Fallen used tarot cards in that). Sorry, Chargey, but 4 people had intimate relations on day 2 of quest, one of whom we met yesterday, while 1 was an angel. Enough about that, I have my own waifus. Not like I'll do anything with them, I have my multiverse adventures to go through. Ruby might enjoy those, but some universes have pretty big threats. And magic. This adventure is for 1 man and only him, also known as me.

I didn't even bring Lisa, and I wouldn't have even if she asked. Less rambling and non-relative thoughts, for now. Anyway, back to Chess Piece Ruins.

"Why did you choose a piece for us?" The ravenette with the name Blake, hehe, asked me with suspicion and a narrowing of eyes. She was the only one who questioned why I chose for their team since Ruby trusts me and Yang… trusts her? Or she will use this to keep a closer eye on me. If Ruby wants anything to happen, she'll have to initiate. Let's hope she doesn't like me too much.

"Well, my Blakey Wakey", One of Blake's eyes and one of her ears twitched at the nickname, but she didn't comment, "turns out that Ozpin organizes teams by matching chess pieces, but don't tell him I know that." I theater-whispered to her and finished it with a wink to a nearby camera. He doesn't have the balls to switch it up and if he did, I would rebel against him.

Blake slowly nodded, but stopped and questioned how I had my knowledge. Ozpin didn't even know I knew, until now. I started to actually whisper, "Well, my catty teammate," This caused a twitch of both her ears and a widening of her eyes, but she didn't say anything, "I am actually Ozpin's offspring and I overheard him speaking about it with the hot witch… Alright, that's not the truth. Truth is, I'm clairvoyant, which is also how I found about… other things, but don't worry, I won't show mine until you show yours." I also finished this with a wink, which caused her to blush. Hah.

"What do you mean by 'I won't show mine until you show yours'?" You can always count on Blakey Wakey to ask the real and only questions.

"I also have a pretty big secret that plays into my pseudo-clairvoyance and I won't say what it is until you reveal your adorable ears to the other members of the team. Also, don't worry about the other thing, Ozpin doesn't care." After more eye-widening and some hitched breath, she slumped a bit and sighed. She whispered back with, "As long as you don't say anything." And a weak glare. Maybe I revealed too much of my hand? Nah. I rubbed her head a bit. She leaned into it until she realized what she was doing. This caused an actual glare and I let her push my hand away. Maybe I'll have to bribe her with fish so I can rub her fluffy ears. Maybe this Blake will have a tail? I checked her with [Amy Dallon's Real Name]'s Legacy. She doesn't have a fluffy tail. That answers that. For now, she doesn't, anyway. I could alway give her one.

After the theater-whispering and actual whispering, depending on the topic, we decided to get out of the corner of the cave. Rubster and Goldilocks actually decided to give us space. Ruby makes sense and it seems I didn't give Yang enough credit. Sorry, Yang. Ruby ran up to us, while Yang swagger walked when they saw us finished. "Soooo, what were you guys talking about?" Guess Ruby would rather hear it when we wanted to share.

I gave Blake a one-armed hug while affectionately saying to the small group, "I was just talking to my Snuggle-Wuffin here, about how teams are made." If Ozzy didn't change it. If I had some form of system in place, I would change it when someone figured it out, but that's just me. Ozpin isn't me. I hope. This caused Blake to blush and I allowed her to push me away, Yang smirked, while Ruby tilted her head to the side a little bit. Time to cross that bridge. R.I.P What used to be a Nevermore. Maybe a Deathstalker will show up.

As I say this, a Deathstalker breaks through one of the walls, scaring Ruby, while I sent it back into whence it came. I don't think it survived getting hit by telekinesis while I added a ton of kinetic energy to it. After a bit of time, a loud boom and splatter was heard from its hole. To the bridge!

How to scale a summit. Ruby used speed and glyphs. I have Builder and Teleportation. Doormaker it is. My portals are way better than Raven's. White pieces of space are way better than something that looks like a portal to hell. She can use them to spy though. My spying is way better though. I could take her.

I decided against Doormaking. I made a pulley elevator instead. After scaling the cliff-side via pulley elevator, we went back to the Academy. Time to form an actual team. "Ruby Rose, P. M. Goodbringer, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long forming team Rugby, with Mr. Goodbringer leading the team. Oh no. I can't lead. I'm a one-man army, not the commander of one army. Also, I'm the leader, but my name is second. Guess the higher-ups couldn't think of a team name that involves other stuff. Let's hope I don't have to plan stuff.


	4. RWBY 4

Sleeping in the same room as 3 chicks? Well, 'sleeping' in my case, but still. If I wanted, I could be the ultimate pervert. Good thing I have my set of morales and an age above their grandparents. Who are their grandparents? We may never know. The more mature members of team Rugby stared at me when we entered. Time to think of cool room ideas. I've got nothing. I made a Door to a very new room located deep underground near the Academy. Once made, I shoved my bed into the Door and set up my room. So, bed in the corner, bookcase where I will put my smut and not-smut. Better looking bookcase where I will put my original literature. Lights are good. Oxygen recycler for people who need it.

Now, another room. Inside will be my own bathroom. There, finished.

I went back to the original group. Looks like I was gone a couple of seconds. Everything still looks the same. They stared at me and asked where I went and what that thing behind me is. "This is a Door, capital D, and it is a form of portal. It goes to my own room. Sharing a room with my Cuddle-Wuddles is a bit too soon." I ended it with some artificial blush and putting my hands against my cheeks. Blake had a little blush and glared at me while Yang smirked more.

"Well, me and Rubbles wouldn't want to interrupt the hand-holding going on." This caused me to add more blush while the innocent notion of holding hands caused the ruby reaper to blush. Truly, this group of people is amazing… Maybe I'll give Yang a robot arm. All the best waifus are flirtatious and have robot arms. The best waifu part was a joke. It was a bad joke.


	5. RWBY 5

A class that may actually matter. Omniscience and a photographic memory really help with the learning process, while my combat abilities are lacking since my strategy is to overwhelm my opponents.

This class was in the Academy Arena, taught by the good witch. The matches are entirely random, kind of like the Vistal festival. You know, the rigged one in the future? I want a challenge and some amount of fun. The redheaded Pyrrha is the best at combat currently, while I could play around with Yang's semblance. Pyrrha would probably enjoy getting steamrolled by a nobody. There's also Cardin. I could kick his butt. I hear you asking, "If you can rig it, why not all three?" And I say to that, "You are correct!" With as much enthusiasm as I can muster in my head (Which is a lot). Thanks guys, you are the best.

I used one of my B.S. powers to change the next 3 matches. First is going to be Cardin, then Yang, then Pyrrha. Cardin has been leering and sneering at me more than usual. Ever since I stopped him from pulling the Chocolate Bunny's ears. I remember it like it was yesterday.

 **FLASHBACK**

My whole team was eating together and by that I mean the other three were eating while I stared at Cardin. The bunny named Velvet finally arrived and Cardin saw those adorable bunny ears and his racism was finally rearing it's head. His whole team was walking towards her. She seemed frightened since they had these racist sneers and leers going on. Before they said a single word to her, I made 4 pebbles and chucked them at the back of their heads. I made sure to use enough strength to only knock them out. I gave the bunny a thumbs up and a totally sane grin. She gave a small wave and a strained smile while doing a speedy walk away from the almost-crime-scene.

Goodwitch decided to finally show up and she saw the bodies. First, she looked at me and narrowed her eyes, then she walked towards me. It seems that my acts were caught on camera. The attractive she-witch finally reached me and asked the fated question in a heated tone, "What in the world do you think you are doing?!" Oh boy, she is using two different types of terminal punctuation. I have to play it cool though.

So I decided to use the big guns, "Hey baby, is it just me or are you a fairly attractive adult?" The cat-girl and blonde both did a double facepalm, that is 4 in total, while Red's cheeks went red like her clothes and her mouth went agape. Nailed it. Now for Goodwitch's reaction. A lot less blush than a normal person, but that might be from anger. Judging from the metaphorical steam coming from her ears, it is probably some form of anger. Oh wait, I know. I sent out two finger guns her way with a double click of the tongue. This has the more intended effect of causing Blake, Yang, and Goodwitch to double facepalm, which is a sextuple. Ruby's expression just got more agape. I closed her mouth with my hand, don't want various insects going in her mouth.

The bell rang. Saved by the bell. I ran in the direction of the Academy Arena and was the first to arrive. Perfect.

 **FLASHBACK END**

Now that I look at Goodwitch, her knuckles are white from holding her riding crop tightly, plus she hasn't looked directly at me yet. I hope she didn't take it as legit flirting, I don't want to cuck the Ozman. That's not cool. Same with Blake. I hope Ruby doesn't try anything either, or Yang. I could always go the Jack Slash Social Manipulation Route. All I need is a goal for the conversation and the power will try to obtain it. Like making Ruby and Yang love each other a bit more than normal. That's forbidden on at least 2 levels since they are both female and they are half-sisters. Maybe throw Blake in there as well. Mah OT3. Also Neo? Where is Neo anyway? I killed Torchwick, so… Guess I could use Clairvoyance, but what is the fun in that?

Judging by what I'm seeing, she is sleeping. Also, she needs to clean up, can't illusion the filth away forever. Can she even illusion smell? Maybe in the future. I can always mind whammy her into a totally not evil person. Plans for the future. Back to surroundings.

The two pictures on the monitor are spinning, which means that my amazing picture and Cardin's… picture will show up on there soon. After a moment, the cycling images stopped. The one on the left stopped on my totally-sane, smiling mug. Not creepy at all. The one on the right was Cardin's. Perfect. Look at him over there, laughing his butt off. Would he laugh at the faces on the four Maidens? What about God? Cardin could defeat Jaune without getting hit, but Jaune didn't go through his character arc (HA, Arc. His last name is Arc. Is punny.) until later. Hope Pyyrha trains him hard. Could give him Uber's ability. Nah. Tough luck, bucko.

Cardin doesn't have the skill of Pyrrha or the strength of Yang, so I get to try and not kill people instantly. I'm not saying Yang ISN'T skilled, but not Pyrrha level. Plus Polarity. I'd like to see her face when I do the same thing. I have all kinds of ways to move metal. Back to the regularly scheduled programming.

Cardin tried to be cool by jumping into the arena and landing like a superhero. I would do the same, but I decided to use the ladder going down into the pit. Dome. Upside-down dome. Upside-down Thunderdome. Can't use that, is copyrighted or something. Ramification-Hemisphere. That's better. I decided to use the ladder that went down into the RAMIFICATION-HEMISPHERE. HECK YEAH.

Once on the floor of the Ramification-Hemisphere, I went to the opposite side of Cardin. He was that creepy smile on his face. Like he can beat me. Does he know I can gib a Giant Nevermore at over 100 yards? The look on the faces of everyone who witnessed the bird becoming nuggets either want me to win, or him to. I think I can guess Blake's. He tried to tug on the Bun Bun's ears. Probably the former anyway. Judging by the cheering they are doing. And team JNPR. I give the two teams one thumb up each and a big, sane smile. It seemed to unnerve the people who didn't see it in real life before. Is it really that bad? Jack Slash thought it was… nice. Before I killed him anyway. Whatever. Butt-kicking time.

I used Omniversal Instant Nanoforge to make a deck of playing cards lined with metal. They looked completely normal though, nice. He seemed to take this as me being a magic man, "What are you? A Magician?," He took out his mace-wand, "This is a real weapon!" What did he think these cards were lined with? Tin? Aluminium? I used Technologically Advanced Inventing to make these, so I don't know the metal's name, but it sounds like Justin Roiland's naming scheme was put in a blender, added to a weird alien name from some sci-fi movie with ium at the end.

Plus, Goodwitch uses a riding crop, how is that a weapon? Oh yeah, it uses Dust. I probably won't use Dust, ever. Why? I have better stuff, plus I don't have a soul. I'm like a Kryptonian up in here, weak to magic. Oh yeah, a fight. Goodwitch hasn't even said anything yet.

After I thought this, Goodwitch's face hardened into her usual frown and decided to get this magic show on the road, "P. M. Goodbringer versus Cardin Winchester. Fight until your aura is in the red, one of you surrenders, or I call it off." I brought up my case of having no aura, or the ability to gain it. She scowled at me before continuing, "In your case, until you get hit." Then she glared and scowled at me, daring me to talk again, so I did what any totally sane person would.

"As the fair maiden requests!" I finished it off with one of those fancy bows, the one using your arms, but I didn't have a hat, so I used 2 of my cards, putting them on display. Specifically the Joker and Queen of Hearts. This caused her scowl to get deeper though. I decided to change the Queen on the picture to look like her while changing each heart on the card to a spade. Sorry Goody, I'm not gonna be Caliginous for you, but I will make you a card.

She finally decided to start the match. I immediately went on the offensive and by that I mean I tossed a single card at his weapon with a sufficient amount of strength to slice through it, but not go through the wall. He didn't give up after that. I can't tell whether or not it's stupidity or bravery. Probably a ton of column A, while a tiny bit of B. He finally rushed towards me, probably trying to get an actual hit in, like he's trying to win. Ha, he can't win.

While Cardin was charging me, I summoned up a rotten egg. Goodwitch said I can't get hit, so I'm not going to touch him with my body. She would do that. She wants to rub all that hate all over me like some sort of marinade. I tossed the rotten egg with enough force to deplete his Aura to red. Can't knock him out since that would make it below red, to non-existent. R.I.P In Peace Colonel Egg, ye hardly knew ye. His sacrifice was not in vain since Cardin has barely any Aura. Goodwitch sourly confirmed my win. It was as if, saying my win would not only end the world but also doom further universes to extinction before they even started.

The teams that weren't Cardin's cheered for me like some sort of Gladiator champion, so I reacted in kind. I gave Juniper and the rest of Rugby the good ol' dual thumbs up and cheery smile. This hampered some of their spirits for some reason and even caused the Witch to shudder a bit. Guess she can't handle the raw Testosterone I'm pumping out, and by that I mean none.

Cardin went back to his team, not daring to face me. I did the same, but I moonwalked. Like a boss. Goodwitch started up the 'random' match generator again. Wonder who it could be. Probably not me, I already had a match. After too long of a time, why is it so long, the spinny, digital images stopped. First image that stopped was Yang. Her reaction was scream of, "Yes!" Guess she wants to punch first and answer quiz questions later. Ha, she has to study and work hard.

Then it stopped on my face and she boomed yes louder. Probably wants to beat my… stuff in for some reason. I'm not into that. Probably. Or intimidate me for claiming Ruby as a friend of some sort. Like an advanced version of that handshake.

Yang jumped down into the RAMIFICATION-HEMISPHERE like some sort of boss, while I went down the ladder again. Goodwitch stated the terms, but this time, I could get hit. Good, I want to punch Yang and see if her Semblance is better than Strengthened Kinetic Redirection. It won't be. Times 100 is 50 times better than double.

Yang did that thing where you punch your fists together. Like in boxing, you know? Except in her case, it's more intimidating since she can punch through Grimm. Not intimidating for me though. I can punch through bull… stuff. Goodwitch then started the match.

Yang wasted zero time before she charged towards me. She wasn't going to use the shotgun parts. I did the same thing, going the same speed, and was going to use the same amount of force she used. The contact caused neither of us to move since they were equal forces, so she jumped back on her own. Her eyes got red. Good. She quickly charges forwards and reared her fist back, while I didn't move at all. This caused her to actually get angrier. When she threw her punch, I threw mine. Her punch was 3 time as strong as usual because of her Semblance doubling the amount of kinetic energy I put in her. SKR would multiply the amount of kinetic energy put into me by 100, then put it back into the thing hitting me. If we remained in contact and neither of us was damaged by the amount of energy being transferred, God knows what would happen.

When our punches actually connected, her eyes widened when I didn't get pushed back, then widened further when she was thrown back to the side of the HEMISPHERE. She didn't get back up after that. When I looked at the screen displaying her Aura, there was a tiny bit left. You know when a character in a game has a pixel of health left? It's like that. I walked up to check how fine her physical body was.

Her body was better looking than her Aura. I picked her body up, then teleported up to our spots while Goodwitch spoke of my win. Cheering seemed a bit awkward this time. You may be wondering where the constructive criticism is. I'm actively not listening to it. Also, Goodwitch isn't giving it to me. She seems to want to spend the least amount of time speaking and being around me. For some reason. So she simply started the spinny thing.

No surprise here, Goodbringer vs. Nikos, battle of the century. She seemed to take me as a challenge. Guess two hit winning each fight does that. She climbed down the ladder, while I teleported down. She simply said, "Let's have a good match." While getting her spear and shield ready. Let's hope that spear doesn't have any sentimental value. Goodwitch started the match with the same terms as last time.

Instead of waiting like I usually do or attacking with a ranged weapon, I decided to charge forward with more speed than I would usually do. This amount of force caused some large cracks to form in the ground when I pushed off of it. This caused Pyrrha to defend. When I actually got close, I threw a punch at her shield. The shield gained a dent and sounded like a gong before the force threw her back. She dug her spear into the ground to slow her down. This didn't stop her from crashing into the back wall. She actually had a fair bit of Aura left.

Before most people could react, she threw her spear at me with all of her strength and even used her Semblance to make it fly faster. The speed it was going was pretty fast compared to some stuff. When it got into my range, after an incredibly short amount of time, I simply backhanded the shaft of the spear. This caused a loud snap since it got bisected. This action caused most people's mouths to gape, even Pyrrha's for a short amount of time before it hardened. Shield and fisticuffs are left. She threw her shield at one of the walls then charged at me. Before it hit the actual wall. I teleported in front of it, grabbed it, then threw it back like some form of game. I threw it a bit harder than she did, so instead of bouncing off the wall like it was supposed to do, it dug itself halfway into the wall behind her.

I decided to finish it off by teleporting above her and doing a quick little front flip. Using the momentum of the flip, I hit the top of her head with my heel. Bare heel. I forgot about shoes. Who needs them anyway? This move slammed the front of her face into the solid ground. I'm pretty sure some people yelled her name after that. Luckily, she got up. She was a bit dizzy though. I felt a disturbance in the food chain. Also, Amelia Lavere's Legacy helped. I touched her and teleported us to a bathroom. Then emptied her stomach. I accidentally gave her a concussion. I healed that up before other people checked her out, plus the other stuff, like the puking.

After she got cleaned up, she congratulated me on my win. I told her she did a good job too. I actually used more power than the others. I don't think she had any hard feelings. I teleported us both back to the arena, putting myself in my seat and her in her own seat. I think that's enough fights for me for now. I'm going to be in the Vytal Festival next semester and I'm going to win. I'm also going to murder Cinder while shoving Amber into her memories so Amber becomes a full Maiden. Also, mind whammying Neo via mind control or social manipulation. I don't know about Mercury and Emerald.

How long is this class? What is the schedule? Are you telling me I need to make one? There are like 3 teachers. Guess 3 classes a day. 2 aren't ever going to matter unless field trips. "Why don't you make some up?" Some of you may ask. Ha. No. Back to regularly scheduled programming!

What in the world happened? Everything, including me, just stopped. Whatever, time for more matches, I guess. Luckily, I defeated 3 other people, so that means like 4 more matches.

Hold on while I make the matches. These are actually random.

Oh god, it happened again. Probably a coincidence, like the saying. The first match that didn't have me involved was Ruby versus Ren. Two people who use speed. Ruby has a semblance designed for speed, though. Long story short, Ruby won. It was actually a pretty fair match, considering the age difference and Ren and Nora being orphaned.

Next match was Blake versus one of Cardin's goons. No contest, Blake won. She made him on the brink of losing his Aura entirely. Probably the whole 'racist' thing. Next was the other 2 goons. They managed to knock each other out. Somehow. This made them both lose, rather than tie. Nice.

Jaune versus Nora. Jaune didn't surrender, which is pretty brave. It actually took some time since Jaune has a lot of Aura, but that didn't matter since Nora doesn't really get tired. Then class ended. The next classes were the unimportant ones until we have to collect some dank sap though. At least Jaune might not become Cardin's slave.


	6. DanMachi 1

I looked at the city of Orario and saw Freya's tower. I could hit it with Neutron Star Marble and instantly kill her. Nah, not yet. The only thing in this universe that has the possibility of killing me is a God's Arcanum. I wonder if Freya can sense me. If she can, she better not try anything, I have no problem collapsing a tower filled with douchebags.

I am a man with simple goals. I will have my own Familia. It will have the kitsune, Lili, the dragon Xeno, and who knows who else. I will also defeat the strongest fighters here. Simple.

I switched to my natural sight. I sense things in terms of powers. Kind of like the Byakugan, but replace Chakra with Powers. Broad, it is. It seems the connection between Gods and their children is similar to Eidolon and the Endbringers, but less mind control. This makes me having a Familia an even more likely goal. My Falna will be much better though.

I used my Clairvoyance to find the Sword Princess. It seems she is walking around her Familia Grounds. I decided to walk there instead of teleporting. I reached the gate that leads into it. Time to test my charisma. I believe it is Freya/Ishtar level. I went towards the guards and spoke, "I would like to see the Sword Princess." A simple task, but they seemed to take it as a joke, judging by their laughing, then they told me to get lost. I pulled an Adam Jensen and slammed their heads together. They didn't lose their lives… Yet.

I walked in and towards the Ais's current location, still walking around. Doesn't even have the Elf Princess with her. I'll find her later. I decided to walk to her from her back. She even seemed to notice me even though I wasn't making any noise.

"Greetings, Past Protagonist's daughter, I would like to engage you in a duel!" I laid it on thick, while she responded with a simple nod. Not even questioning my choice of name for her. Probably heard weirder. Then she led me to some sort of arena. When we arrived, she unsheathed Desperate. The weird looking blue sword. A longsword? Maybe short. Maybe a rapier, who cares. She nodded in my direction, a gesture meant for me to start when I am ready. I took out a coin from my pocket(dimension). She took notice of it and nodded. She knew what it meant. I flipped the coin into the air and we waited for it to touch the ground. While it was falling, I increased the amount of processing power my 'brain' had. Colors went gray and I decided that was enough.

After a while, the coin hit the smooth ground. I saw her muscles tense up, but very slowly. This isn't fun. Then I remembered Durandal and what it's famed for. Time to break a sword. I sped things up. She did the equivalent of a flash step and appeared in front of me and tried to strike me with her sword. I flicked it and it shattered. It required A LOT of kinetic energy. Surprising. Her eyes widened in a display of more emotion than ever previously seen. Then she tried to attack me with the hilt of Desperate. Fitting name. I did the same thing. She stared at her hands, where the pieces were. "Soooooooo… I win?" She simply nodded in a reply. I gathered up all the pieces and put it back into it's old shape. She whispered a simple thanks, then sheathed it. Then she actually spoke in something other than a whisper, "How did you get so strong?" Monotone, my age old enemy. Riveria, what did you do? Oh yeah, raise her. I decided to go with the usual answer, "Well, you see. I am an eldritch abomination, in human form. This is just how I am." She seemed sad at that. Probably since I couldn't get her this stronk. Which isn't true. Then I gave her an Anti-Master power and walked to where Riveria is. She has to watch out for that Harem Protag.

I found her teaching Lefiya magic stuff. At first she denied my dueling advances, but she accepted when Lefiya wanted to see her actually fight. Thanks, knife-ear, you won't be part of the purge. TO THE ARENA, ONCE AGAIN. Ais was still there, staring at her now-in-one-piece sword. She looked up when she heard us coming, then she stared at us. I shook my head and she knew what I meant. She left the Arena floor, Riveria replaced her. She took out her staff, while I summoned an actual weapon. I thought about what I wanted. Realistic or Silly? 'CHOOSE.' played in my head and I thought about kuudere, white haired waifus. NO CONTEST. Silly, it is. Instead of my usual playing cards, I went with something a bit different. Poker chips.

'Said to freeze time as well as the enemy' Uh, excuse me Riveria, What? Alright, don't get hit by it, my plan won't change.

THERE IT GOES AGAIN. It just keeps happening. Anyway, the Poker chips were exactly like normal, but with my two faces on either side. I flipped one into the air, like a coin. She nodded, like Ais before. Once it hit the ground, she opened her mouth while I threw one at her forehead. While her physical stats blow, she didn't pull out a spell to shield her, making the chip do full damage. When it hit, it hit with the force of an Egotistical man-god who doesn't like Elf Princesses that have abused children. Riveria happened to be of the latter, tough luck amigo.

The chip may or may not have broken the sound barrier by a large margin and the impact may or may not have made a large cracking sound. She may or may not have a fractured skull. Also, she was down for the count. I win, again. After that, I walked away, all cool-like. I needed to pick what to do next.


	7. DanMachi 2

**This doesn't really matter. Might as well not be Canon.**

Ais, after checking up on Riveria, went to get her sword checked out by the maker, Goibniu. Getting shattered seemed like a big thing, even if it was put back together. The person who did it was pretty strong, if he was able to break Desperate and knock Riveria out in one hit. Ais shook her head slowly and started to actually walk to the blacksmith's shop.

When she walked into it, she saw that the God was at the helm, being the shopkeeper. Ais walked up to him and gave a small nod, then handed him Desperate. "Hmmm, it doesn't seem to have any problems, so what's the problem?" The old god said while looking the sword over. Ais simply said that someone shattered it. "Hmm, that would be something, wouldn't it. How'd they manage that?" She said he flicked it. "Mus' be pretty strong to do that. Who was he?" Ais said she didn't know, then handed him the Poker chip he left on the ground and the silver coin. He looked over both of them, after that, he said, "So, this is the' guy, huh. And some sort of monster on the back of it." Then he looked over the silver coin.

I GOT TIRED OF AIZ, HERE'S GOIBNIU.

Oh, a silver dollar dated with the year 2023 A.D.. Being able to move through dimensions would make him pretty strong. Goibniu wanted to meet this guy. He asked Ais if she had any way of contacting him. She furrowed her brows and narrowed her eyes and she seemed to be thinking hard. Then some young, brown haired guy walked in. He looked like the guy on the Poker chip. He also seemed to flinch, but then shook his head afterwards. Then he walked towards the two of them and said, "I felt some plot involving me going on in here, what's the haps?" The blacksmith held out his hand and said his name while the young man shook it and said 'Goodbringer'. Then his brown eyes started glowing blue. Some sort of skill? Then he quickly said sorry and teleported away. Huh. The smith looked back at Ais and handed her Desperate. Then she walked away. Not the strangest day he ever had.

 **Why did you read it?**


	8. DanMachi 3

I'll have to give Ais something since I left after she called me. She probably didn't even think it worked, jokes on her. When I used my Clairvoyance on Lili, I saw that she was about to get rekt by some Soma members and her new God can't let that happen. Well, I'm not her God yet, but still. I hope they challenge me to a War Game. Anyway, back to the present, with Lili about to get bullied, and not the good kind.

I entered the scene and put the smackdown on all the bullies. They were still alive. Then I picked Lili up. She seemed to flinch a bit and tense up, while I gave a simple, "Hello!" As happy as I could, while she glanced around, trying to find some sort of escape. I tried another approach, "How would you like to be NOT part of the Soma Familia?" This simple declaration caused her eyes to widen and water. How can my imouto be this sad? Or is she a daughteru? Judging by my previous relations with small things, probably a daughteru. Lili finally realized that she doesn't know me or have any reason to trust me other than witnessing me beat those fools down. So, I teleported us to a house I made. It's not small, but it's not a mansion. Then I gave her some paper and a pencil to make a list of what she wants. I told her I would get her everything on it.

A lot of clothes and other things. And so I did. I also checked on Bell. He's still at the farm, doing farm stuff and learning how to be a ladies man from Zeus. He won't get to use those skills on anyone except Hestia though. When is Zeus going to fake his death? Hopefully soon.

After a day since I rescued Lili, most of my time was spent looking after her, the Soma Familia decided to talk to me, by challenging me to a War Game. Just according to keikaku. I'll skip the boring conversation. I will fight the Soma and Freya Familias to the death. The latter was harder, but I called Freya some words and they accepted. Now, I do stuff while waiting.

I need to acquire the Renard and Xeno. I used Clairvoyance to find the Kitsune. Judging by her location, she is still owned by the Ishtar Familia. Makes sense, Freya hasn't killed Ishtar for wanting Bell. I did a simple hit and run, but it involved rescue/kidnapping and less cowardice and more wanting to bring her to my house faster. After calming her down, I left her in the hands of Lili.

The Ishtar Familia challenged me to a War Game. I decided to renegotiate with all 3 of them. Same rules but with another enemy. If they win, they get their slaves back, if I win, I get them, plus I get to kill Zanis and Ottar, plus some others.

First time in the dungeon. It's really easy to see, kind of like Zion, but way weaker since the sealing. I used Clairvoyance to find my target, the dragon Xeno. Then I used some teleportation to reach her. I did the same thing I did to Haruhime. The other 2 seemed surprise at my acquisition and her ability to speak. Then I told them that if anyone screws with her, beat their stuff in. Then I remembered the 2 of them being Supports.

After shoving some meat down Smolder's throat, don't be lewd, she went to sleep on the only bed in the house. Well, only bed that matters. The 3 cuddle on it and stuff. Smolder really likes Haruhime's hair, while Lili is in the middle. Cute.


	9. DanMachi 4

**Maybe Goodbringer will have an actual fight soon.**

Finally, the day of the War Game arrived. Some of the enemy would survive, but almost none of Freya's will. I used a second of my time to check on Bell. He was actually heading to the city, which means Canon is a soon. The Game was finally going to start. I mussed up the 3 girl's hair and then jumped into the RAMIFICATION-HEMISPHERE, OH YEAH IT'S BACK. I actually read up on what I agreed to earlier, since I wasn't really listening. I will have to face every person in the other Familia's, to the death or surrender. If I win, I get my girls. If they win, they get them. Normally, cheating wouldn't be allowed, but I allowed it. Zanis managed to get smugger at that point. Cheating meaning they could use all kinds of items, and whatever. They already have a level 7, so… Anyway, I will face Soma first, then Ishtar, then Freya. Simple, really.

I was also thinking of Aliases. Mostly mine, though. Either 'God of Gods' or 'Ruler of All Domains', probably the second. 'Gaping Dragon' for Smolder sounds too lewd, so I'll go with 'Jormungand'. Something for Lili, though. No clue. Neither for Haruhime. They may not even want to be Adventurers, plus they were Supporters anyway. I'll think of something later, Aliases come at level 2 anyway. I'll be the one to choose them, as well, not any of the other gods or goddesses. Back to relevant stuff, like the War Game.

I looked at the three main Gods present: Soma, Ishtar, and Freya. I couldn't see Soma's eyes through all of that hair, but I imagine that he is both bored and some level of drunk. Ishtar is looking at me like I'm some piece of meat. Freya is giving me a similar look, but with a bit of hate added to it. Probably all those insults I told her and her Familia, or the fact she can't see my soul. Or maybe she can see my powers like I could see Zion's? I would probably be something like a sun.

Anyway, from memory, I will be sparing the dwarf from Soma. That's it for them. For Ishat, I'll probably only kill Phryne and Tammuz. All of Freya's, except Mamma Mia. Maybe even get in a War Game with Loki later. For Ais. Maybe fight Bell sooner or later.

GET ON WITH IT

Alright, I get it, I'll get on with it. Probably what it meant anyway.

!

Jeez, it was a joke. Guess Mr. Time-Freeze can't take a joke.

I CAN, BUT THE AUDIENCE WANTS TO CONTINUE THIS, PROBABLY. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT BABEL HAS PEOPLE OTHER THAN FREYA IN IT. I'M HAPPY THAT GOODBRINGER DIDN'T DESTROY IT EARLIER. NOW I KNOOOOOW.

That one lasted a long time, but I'll take it's METAphorical advice. The announcer guy that doesn't matter finally decided to start things. First fight is me against Zanis. He has that sadistic, smug smile on him, like usual. He's kind of like a drow, but human. Probably gives guys with glasses a bad name. I don't need them anymore, but still. Before the announcer even started the match, he chucked a vial at me. When it hit me, it violently exploded. It even threw Zanis back a bit and he was at the other side of the arena. That's like, over 50 meters. I decided to save my pants, skin, hair, and underwear from the raging inferno. There were some screams from a couple of females. Probably my daughterus. They're good people. Through the fire and flames, I could see Zanis' even smugger grin. Not vulpine, he doesn't deserve that.

When the inferno died down from eating most of the oxygen around me and not being able to burn my skin, my body could be seen from the audience. I'm pretty sure my bare body caused some explosive nosebleeds from some people. Like Haruhime. Smolder caught her before she could fall out of her seat, though. Then Smolder and Lili cheered for me. Ah yeah. Haruhime would but she is preoccupied. I looked around at the other members. Oh god, Ishtar and Freya got worse. You know how in some animes, characters drool at the sight of some nice meat? Ishtar is like that, but I'm the piece of meat. Freya isn't that bad, but she's biting her lip. Not many people can see that though.

Zanis' mouth is gaped, since I'm not a burnt body. I slowly walked towards him, which caused him to walk back. This continued until his back hit the wall, which made him go in a different direction: down, away from me. When he couldn't go down, he just kind of gave up. I poked him and used Amelia Lavere's Legacy to change his body a bit.

When I was done, he was blind, deaf, mute, a eunuch, he had an extreme case of Hypoesthesia, he was anemic, couldn't taste, and lost most of his motor function. He's gonna have a rough time. I won that match. Zanis lost the game of life, but he's not finished it. A part of the crowd clapped at my win. Smolder is really clapping though, as well as Lili. Haruhime is a bit awkward about it. Either from my clothing situation, making Zanis a vegetable, or both.

After that display, the rest of the Soma Familia gave up. I glared at the ones that screwed with Lili. I think those ones wet their pants a bit. One actually fainted.

Next up was Ishtar. Most of them will live and not suffer getting turned into a vegetable. Tammuz will die, Phryne might.

A lot of the members surrendered immediately. Tammuz decided to fight me first. If things went canon, he would have been charmed by Freya. Imma stop that. When the fight started, I moved towards the human. I tapped his skin and did the same thing. Can't really be healed if your body is meant to be that way now.

Phryne actually wanted to fight me for some reason. She's not that bad, she just doesn't like Ishtar. I simply knocked her out with a touch. The two female Gods got worse. Ishtar was actually rubbing her thighs together and her pupils were hearts. Lewd.

Freya's Familia now. It's supposed to have the strongest people in it, including Ottar, the only level 7. My first fight was against the Gulliver Brothers. 4 level 5s against one person without a Falna. It's not going to be a fight, it's going to be a slaughter. I summoned up some metal-edged playing cards and formed them into a chakram, while also fusing their atoms together so it would stay the same shape. I wanted a quad-kill.

I threw the chakram at one of the walls, making it bounce off into the group of four people. It looked like a half red/half black circle. The spear brother tried to block it, but these card were lined with a metal that was hard to beat, so it sliced through the spear and then him. This seemed to surprise a lot of people, like the other brothers and my daughterus.

That action repeated a couple of time, then they all died. I looted their weapons and potions, like some sort of murderous looter. Not like the description is wrong, anyway. Hedin and Hogni didn't stand a smug elf's chance in the underworld. They had way more potions than the brothers combined.

Arnya won't be sad I killed her bro right? I couldn't think of an answer to that, so I ended it in a single touch. He's in the same state as Zanis. GG, now to a challenge.

Ottar was a large man, comparatively. In my Endbringer form, I would be a couple feet taller than him. This height difference made his sword seem even bigger. It was kind of like the Dragonslayer from Berserk, but actually sharp. I looked towards Freya and she seemed to be smiling. Then she saw me looking and it became a bit more unnerved.

I decided to actually talk to my opponent, "Would it hurt if I ripped off each of your limbs?"

The large dude spoke in a gruff voice, "It would be extremely painful." Then the match started, so he charged towards me and swung downwards, letting gravity aid his strength. I put my hand in it's way, catching the large blade. I also let it weigh me down, so people thought I was weaker than it actually was. Ottar seemed surprised and said, "You're pretty strong."

I waited a few moments then gave him my answer, "... For you." Then I removed my hand from the blade, which caused it to fall. While it was falling, I pushed the blade away from me, then initiated a spin kick while my not-kicking foot wall still on the ground. It nailed into his side, making him slide a couple of meters. Then I rushed towards him and punched him in the chest. It left a dent in it and made some weird noises. Like a bruise on steroids. He dropped his large sword, landing blade side down, and his body onto the ground while coughing up some blood.

"You weren't really trying were you? I heard you can do much better than that." I gave the questioner a simple smile, then I flicked his Durandal blade, shattering it instantly. One person wasn't surprised. (It was Ais) Even Freya was. Guess she didn't care about me then. This action caused him to sigh and slump further down. "At least make it quick." I thought about what he did. He did tame that minotaur, but he also helped that one chick. I tapped his head and shut off his brain. Quick and painless. Then I re-made his Durandal Dragonslayer and pocketed it. Can't let something that cool go to waste.

I won. It's over. I teleported the 4 of us to our house. Evilus is still out there. Bell isn't here yet. Tomorrow will be a free day. We shall go to the Hostess of Fertility! I laid my body across the only bed that mattered. I wouldn't sleep, but this is good enough. The girls joined me, snuggling up against me.

Oh god, I just realized something. I gained a new title, didn't I? I'm a Harem Protag now, too. It would make sense. A lot of people like me for being their savior, some a bit more than others. If those moments in all of those alternate timelines actually happened, what would life be? A Harem Anime across the omniverse. Sounds like a piece of fanfiction. Plus, how many chicks would want to be in a harem? You know what they say, "More than one waifu will ruin your laifu." I mean, I'm pretty sure I have a Harem Protag Aura, so maybe it could work out? Thoughts for another day. Sleep or no sleep? Maybe snuggles keep the nightmares away. I'll try. Sorry, I'll do. There is no try.

I felt the 3 girls moving around on the bed, trying to get more comfortable. Lili placed herself on my back, curling up like a cat. I don't know how comfortable I am, but I am pretty soft, since I am mostly made of meat, with bones in the middle. Haruhime hugged one of my sides, putting her face on my shoulder, making her ears tickle my neck. Smolder hugged the other side, heating it up from her heat, her hard scales rubbing my soft skin. Her face was on my neck, her breath was heating my neck up, combined with the adorable ears on the other side.

I finally went to sleep


End file.
